Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Big Leaps...and making fun of Georgetown...all in one post

I like that I'm about to go from talking about global women's issues to talking about Tyra Banks...among other things.

Buckle your seat belts, kids.

I used to be an avid Top model fan. And by avid I mean I would watch an entire season on VH1 on a lazy Sunday while making a me-sized dent in the couch. So while waiting for Glee to come start this fine evening, I figured catching some Tyra action wouldn't be that bad, and it's the season for short people, so there's a new venue for humor. And then
during the ultra dramatic judging time, Tyra used the word "smeyezing" and I went deaf from the idiocy of the word. Any fan worth her salt knows she meant "smiling with your eyes," however, and human being worth the oxygen they breathe should cringe when hearing "smeyezing." This is like in mean Girls when Gretchen kept trying to get people to say "fetch" and Regina kept yelling at her, except no one is yelling at Tyra. No. No yelling. Instead, Nigel used the "word" when critiquing the same model. If Nigel jumped on that bandwagon, I don't know what the world is coming to...

Other ideas that I would like to share with no one in particular:
- Why does American Apparel make clothes for children? Being a kid was way hard without things like this mucking up your chances of being one of the cool girls:

Photo Credit: American Apparel

She'd be fine without the weird belt and the awkward leg bend. This is what happens when parents dress their kids as adults instead of like children. Another great example:

Photo Credit: American Apparel

This POOR girl. She is wearing pink. acid-washed. denim. shorts. REALLY? When did this happen? Who decided this was OK? Someone should let AA know that denim shorts are considered popular by residents of Gainesville, FL and pretty much no where else. So yeah...

And finally, my favorite:

Photo Credit: American Apparel

Is she a Batman villain? She looks like some weird version of the Riddler/Catwoman with the different colored legs. Are her legs different chess pieces? WHY? WHY?

(Random note: The football team just started dancing the "Single Ladies" on Glee. The roommate looks up and says, "I believe that is offsides," and continues computering. I love my house.)

- Sometimes I don't have much patience. And usually I recognize that people suck, they will be in the way, they will stop walking at the end of the escalator. But I hold my tongue, because you know, I don't know what kind of day they've had, if they have heavy thoughts weighing on them, etc. But sometimes I can't hold it. SO I was at the deli across the street from work waiting in line for my sandwich, when this guy is trying to walk out of the door. Well, this woman is in front of him and she is literally not moving at all. And so my day hadn't been great up to that point and I can feel the Yankee bitch boiling up inside of me...and then her friend turns and tells her quietly to move and I see the......RED TIPPED CANE. Yes. I almost berated a blind person in public for not moving out of the way. I almost ruined my chances to ever enter this establishment again. I'd like to say this will decrease the chance that I will yell at someone in the future, but that would be a lie, and that's not the kind of relationship I have with the Internet.

- Have you thought at all about how swine flu is messing up college students game? A kid being interviewed on the news said something about having to be careful when "interacting" with people at parties. Everyone knows that is college code for "making out with random people." The careless make out can now catch you swine flu! What the hell! That's not what college is about. College is about making questionable decisions. How will these kids do that now? Well, I guess they chose Georgetown...which, let's be honest, is questionable enough.

What other awkward is happening right now? Let's just say that I had an inappropriate dream about a friend and it's made all of my interactions with them an exercise in not blushing. I might share more about that. I might not. It all depends if I sit down in front of the computer drunk at some point in the near future.

I feel like there is more in life to comment on, but this will have to be all for now. This is already a super long post. I actually have work to do at work now, so I write less, which is sad, because there's so much ridiculous shit happening that deserves mockery. Sometimes life is sad like that.